Praise God!

For my last four day break I went to Iowa with Jack and Jim and had an incredible time. We were able to spend time and encourage fellow believers, pray for those the Lord lead us to pray for and we spent time with the Marr's (Augie's family) and Johnson's. These families have taught me so much and it was such a blessing to spend time with them. Then we drove to have lunch with my cousins and their sons, and then to Wildwood Hills Ranch where I showed the guys around. After Ranch we drove to my grandparents and spend the rest of our time with them absorbing as much as we could. Watching other people appreciate my grandparents reignited the love and appreciation I have for them and it all has started making me realize how incredibly blessed I am by the people God has surrounded me with. 


All of this made returning to work at Rawhide difficult. It's not that I don't love my job- I do- but in Ames and Durant it's easy to be loved and love. I generally don't feel opposition about anything. But God didn't call me to comfort and ease, He called me to Rawhide.


These feelings lead to a stinky-stuck-in-a-rut attitude for most of my morning. Fortunately I didn't work much with the guys and my feelings weren't infiltrating their moods but I knew I wasn't glorifying God with mine. Around noon the Lord convicted me to go to prayer with other RI's so I did. Normally prayer has turned into me and Jack but this morning there was four of us there to pray and it was anointed! God used that time to show me to take the focus off of myself and return it rightfully back to Him. Shortly after prayer I worked with the guys in my house and God guided and blessed the conversations- I was able to be used to answer questions about God's righteousness that THREE of our guys had. I was able to be used to encourage one of our guys that is a believer but has been struggling. He was so encouraged he was near tears- it was absolutely incredible to watch God work...and all to think that I could have chosen to be in a stinky mood. 


Praise God His work isn't dependent on my moods. 

A request from Jaime Adams

Well Jaime, this video is for you! He wouldn't dance like the gummy bear while the camera was on, but he loves the song any way :-)

Field Trip!!

This afternoon Augie and I took an adventure to Wildwood- what can I say, I can't resist the place! My other motivation for the field trip was that I heard that one of my favorite ranchers, Trayvon, was there. It was absolutely incredible to see the effect that Augie had on these hurting children- they wanted to be his role model, they wanted to take care of him and show him new things! I remember one boy (last year) had no desire to be at camp and was considered a 'code Gump' (runner) for the first five hours and we had to continually chase him and bring him back from the highway and today he was excited to play with Augie, and of course, Augie is receptive to all attention. He had both boys and girls aweing over him and wanting to play with him. Even grumpy Mr. Lynn (Augie called him 'Cowboy') couldn't help but smile and giggle over what Augie was doing. Mr. Lynn offered Augie to ride one of the horses but Augie told us 'not quite yet, Augie's not quite ready' I feel this means we need to make more trips down!

They were teaching Augie how to punt it!

Augie and this boy talking about the lake and the pool

Trayvon and Augie playing catch

The picture on the left is from last year, and the one on the right from today. It's amazing to me to see how much this little boy has grown, and that he remembered me!

True Story

Yesterday I took Augie to Ledges State Park with the intention of walking in the river. Before we left the house, I talked to him about this and he was very excited to walk in water! He didn't fully understand what fun was going to be had, but past experience has taught him to trust that I have fun in store for him. So, we were walking down the winding hills and I knew exactly where we're going and Augie was following. We were less than 20 feet from the river destination and all of a sudden Augie got distracted by a pile of sand. All he wanted to do was play in that measly pile of sand even though I kept reminding him about the super-fun upcoming river and I had a better plan than the sand. Eventually I was able to persuade him to start walking my way but instead of taking the paved path he wanted to walk through the grass that was taller than him. Augie ended up tripping and falling over sticks and having difficulty seeing me. We finally go to the river and he loved it! At first, while walking through the river he was having no problems staying on his feet and figuring out where the rocks were and where to step. Then it started getting deeper and rockier and Aug instinctively reached up for my hand that is always ready for him. At some parts I was there as a simple comfort- that he'll be okay- other places he was completely dependent on me to stand. When we were leaving he was so tired and physically exhausted there was no way that he could make it back up the winding hills. I picked him up and carried him through the winding hills, carrying his toy turtle, toy boat and sippy cup. Though carrying Augie was a little difficult for me, I realized that none of our trip was impossible for me. I've done it many times on my own and with others. But for Augie, without me he would have had no guidance, support or strength to figure it all out.

Thank you God for showing me how much I am like Augie in Ledges Park. Thank you God that I have Jesus there to show me the way, to wait patiently as I walk through long grass stubbornly. Thank you Jesus that you are there to hold my hand, hold me up or carry me and all of my baggage.

Pictures Blog!

Here are some pictures from my recent life:

I took Augie to Emily's fiance's farm for the day. It was a good moment because many of my childhood memories have been spent on the 4020 tractor with my dad 

Checking out the steers

At Reiman Gardens in the butterfly part

My last hangout with B before she went to camp

Ha, she got the swing AND her glove stuck on top and stubbornly asked for help

We were playing Jenga and then had a sculpture contest, of course I won! (His sculpture)

She had Kleenexes in case she got a little emotional over her loss (her sculpture)

Took Jack to Ledges and traipsed through the river

For one of my three days off I went to Wildwood and followed them around while doing staff training

Found a crawdad!

Sasha tried to jump the washout....and ALMOST made it!

One of the grossest team building activities ever- clean out the sludge from the river flooding

The beautiful sunsets at this place are one of the many reasons I love it

Disgusted

Tonight I am absolutely disgusted with myself. I am a manipulative, negative and selfish person. Last week, I asked a girl from my connection group to hang out because I don't feel super close to her and want to. So we scheduled to hang out for tonight, and I told her that I would make her dinner.Then we went to visit a friend at work (coffee shop) and she told me that she didn't have any money with her and explained her financial situation. So I bought her coffee (while flinching and whining and worrying and complaining inside). I thought that after coffee that would be the end of our hanging out after I brought her home and then I could go out to the bars with a few friends and hang out with them (other friend isn't 21). While we're having coffee, friend asks to go watch a movie (in my head I was not happy, but I tried to pretend to. I'm pretty sure I did an awful job). I suggest we go to redbox and see what they have, while on the way to Walgreens I ask if she wants to see any of the dollar theater movies- Tangled was the choice. I buy the tickets, and am grumbling inside because they cost $7 because it was in 3D and I didn't know that it was in 3D and was wearing my glasses and had to pay for ANOTHER thing. Oh, and while we were waiting for the movie to start I suggest we go to Walgreens and buy candy. Then in my head I got upset when she ate my candy. Heaven forbid she eat my $1 candy that I offered to her!

I don't want to be this way! I don't want to be upset that I spent money on someone other than myself. I hate it. I'm so disgusted right now. Especially since only a few days ago I was saying I wanted to improve my relational skills- HELLO?!?! On the way home, tonight I spent just as much (if not less) than I did driving back and forth to Des Moines for the retreat, which I did for fellowship purposes. I just don't understand why I am so burdened by this, and even now, when I see the idiocy, hypocrisy and ridiculousness in all of it I still can't stop thinking about it in a negative light. I should be overjoyed that I was able to share what God has given me with others!

I am so grateful that Jesus came for my sins and God did so out of love. I would never make it.








Because I told myself that I would try to post a picture every day, I'm going to change gears because the picture is super cute and precious, and not at all disgusting like my selfishness. Augie and I walked to the horses by Freddy Court this afternoon and he was a total champ!

Here's the deal

Here's the deal with Thursdays, and why I skipped yet another day. On Thursday nights, I stay at the Johnson's. They have a nice cozy bed and a dog that likes to snuggle (there are other reasons as to why I don't stay at my own apartment those nights but those details aren't particularly important). Downside being- they have WiFi but no idea what the password is, so I can't use my computer at their house and I generally like to blog at the end of the day. It's a poor excuse I know, but I'm going to use it.

Today is a good day. I'm wearing leggings and starting to feel more confident in the whole idea. Plus, I realized that this is the closest to not wearing pants that I can legally get (I HATE wearing pants...) so being comfortable and confident is pretty awesome. I took Augie to PlayPals (which is at the city gym, they have TONS of toys for toddlers, you pay a dollar and let them loose for two hours) today and ran into Jill Paulus who is staff at Cstone. It's interesting and slightly weird for me to see them in real life, it's like seeing a teacher outside of the classroom. But that was good because I got to know her a wee bit better and it's making me work on my relational skills because I seriously lack them. Seriously.

Then we came home and made a fort. A pretty stellar one. However, because it was so cool and awesome and I was really proud of it I kind of became a grouch towards Augie who didn't understand that ripping the blankets down ruins my hard work. But it's not about me, it's about his enjoyment...bad nanny moment.

I've decided that for lent I'm not going to give something up but I'm going to try to write my Aunt Marge a letter at least 5 times a week. She is in a nursing home, doesn't get many visitors or calls and is very lonely. I pray that I not be forgotten when I'm old.

Blagh.

The reason for the no-picture-Friday was because my computer crashed. Big Boo. So today will have two. Tomorrow will have better explanations.

Friday's picture:

Saturday was Augie's birthday, so on Friday he helped make his cupcakes...however since he coughed and sneezed and stuck his fingers in all of them, they were thrown away.

Saturday's picture:

This is kind of a reflection of my mood and mindset lately thinking about graduation and the feeling of lack of true friends. I want friends that I can laugh with AND have talks about my spiritual walk who will hold me accountable...right now I feel like I have one or the other.

Beautiful Tuesday

Tuesday's are pretty much my favorite day of this semester. I work with Augie from 8-5 and then the rest of the night is mine! I try to spend it relaxing, cooking or catching up on errands, but I mostly try to cut off communication from the world. This is the first time in my collegiate career that I've intentionally set apart an evening for rest and myself- it's a pretty big deal.

Today, it was about 50 degrees and there's no snow, so Augie and I went to Ledges State Park and he loved it! He loves to be outdoors and is such a sponge of information, it's so cool to watch him experience things for the first time. It makes me excited to be a mom and have these moments over and over again (in the future!) We spent almost two hours walking, running, crunching leaves and snow, and throwing sticks and rocks in the water and watching them rush away. He was astonished by all of this and it makes me realize how much we take for granted- all of this is God's beautiful creation- we should constantly be awed! The picture of the day of course comes from my time with Augie:

I caught him mid-throw of a rock

Okay...I couldn't put just one! Here he's in simple awe of the combination of water and ice creating a 'tunnel' for the sticks to go under

Last night at our Beth study she was talking about when Jesus spoke to the disciples He took them up to the mountain, He brought them to a different place than their surroundings. When Jesus showed some of his divinity with Moses and Elijah (Luke 9) Peter desperately wanted to make a shelter on the mountain and stay there, it was perfect and comfortable! But Jesus (and a cloud of God) said that that's not enough, that they needed to return to the valley. I almost had to laugh when she said that because I realized that Ames has been my mountain. Overall, things are comfortable and God has shown and taught me more than I could imagine and of course I want to stay here, but I need to return to the valley of Clintonville and bring all that He's equipped me with where it's needed.

The past few weeks have just been so incredibly exciting because I feel that it has been drenched in God's glory.....now I need to work on letting that overflow in my interactions with others. I definitely struggle with confidence in evangelism (ugh. stupid struggles.)

Until tomorrow, happy Tuesday!