Blegh.

My posts have been sparse and I have little excuses.
To be completely honest, I feel that for the past few weeks (maybe month and a half?) I've been in a funk. A depressed, discontent, filled with contempt toward God funk. This past week through church, a new bible study and salt company I've realized that I'm just generally upset that I'm still in Ames and not being as busy as I would like. I'm starting to realize that although I have these obstacles and trials I shouldn't be focusing on those and complaining, my focus should be on God's awesome and mighty power. Also, God has shown me that it's not about my plan, or my desire to be busy busy busy, it's about His plan. His plan is ALWAYS better than mine and I need to trust that me being in Ames has a Godly purpose and I need to quit moping around my apartment being a lazy pile and quit bringing others down with my complaining and start truly reflecting His light.

Now, about the new bible study- I'm mostly excited about it (I'm still trying to avoid quiet time with God and using distractions...) It's called the Radical Experiment and it's all about getting to know God more because you want to out of the overflowing passion of your heart. Now some (including myself) would think, 'didn't you just write that you're upset with God and don't want to follow?" Yup, that's why I'm doing it. I want to learn about God more so that I can have a better appreciation for Him, His power, might and absolute glory. So, the challenge of it is that you read the bible in a year (which I've tried and have yet to succeed), pray for the World in a year (have never tried, and I like learning about the countries so far and am beginning to have more of a heart for the world!), give sacrificially (I can always work on that), become a crucial part of a local church (kind of hard to commit to since I'm leaving in August but.....) and to engage in a different context (like eating at Food at First with those that have less than me). I've started the bible reading and the praying for the world, still trying to figure out the logistics of the others. (That sounds like a total cop out/reason for a distraction/reason for not doing it, and it most likely is). That's that. Please pray for my heart through all of this and that God totally transform it.

No official word from Rawhide yet, their waiting to talk to my references.